Black Men and White Women: Why?

So I been doing some thinking, and admitting and I have to confess that I sometimes have a problem with white women and black men.So I started to analyze why I and so many other black women have this issue. We are told that Black Men don't belong to us, that they don't want to be limited, they are exploring other possibilities, they are curious etc. But the feeling of abandonment, anger, and disloyalty is still there. This is not a new feeling either, though many in the media are blasting it now it has been there. I have heard it all my life.

In the Autobiography of Malcolm X, Malcolm stated that when he walked on the streets of Harlem with a white woman on his arm he was respected and admired. He had the White Man's prize- his precious white woman that he protected at all cost(ie lynching: case in point Emmit Till). The white woman was a status symbol. Many Black women believe the case is the same today. Why is it that so many Black Men's picture of success include a non Black Woman. I once was told that many men in a corporate setting feel that they already stick out enough the are just trying to fit in.

Some Black Men say that dating White women is easier. I have to agree in some way it could be easier. White women don't share a history with Black Men and they have no expectations of them. We expect Black men to be our brother, lover, friend, confidant, protecter, provider, leader, father, son, revolutionary, our everything except Jesus. We approach them in relationships knowing at least some part who they are because we are apart of it. We, as all women carry baggage of past relationships or wrong doings ad we can attach it to the new Black men in our lives. We can push them away when we want them to stay, but are afraid of being vulnerable. We can degrade them by simple quotes like"Niggas aint SHIT." They may not always understand our love and how we express it. They don't know that we yell at them because we are concerned. We don't want them to leave and be out all night, because they may never come back. We love Black men. From the way they walk, talk, smell, their build, their color everything. But the way we express it can push them away.

My boyfriend told me to not look at it as a rejecting to Black women but as a man being curious of what else is out there beyond all he has ever known. He also said that as he and some men were talking about this topic that one said that he did not want to be limited. Now when I hear this I can take it two ways. The first is that when a man sees someone of interest wether she be purple, if he is moved to approach her he will. The other way I can take it is that in some way dating Black women is limiting, That we are not a spectrum of ideas, abilities, looks and personalities. I just don't know what they are thinking but I hope its the first one.

Whatever reason Black Men give, we will never be satisfied. We just cant understand why they don't want us. What's wrong with my milk chocolate, nappy head, dominant featured self. What's wrong with your mother, sister, friend, daughter. Aren't we enough. Haven't we been there through thick and thin.We were down for the movement, up with the people and we created the world with you and still you betray us.


I hope in writing this article that no one is offended, this is all my opinion, and nothing that I'm saying is law. I hope this opens up dialogue and understanding to why we feel the way we do and why Black Men do what they do.


Yall Pray for this Po Little Black Girl and yourselves so that we can get a better understanding and to let go of this unsettling feeling.

Love
PLBG