Loving Our Sons

Merry Christmas. I hope that every one's was as enjoyable as mine was, surprisingly. There was a nice buffet involved and no arguments. anywhoo back to the reason I am writing this article.
My older sister once stated that in the Black community we raise our girls and love our sons, meaning that mothers are harder on their daughters than their sons. Now this can come from many factors; the first is that mothers love their sons and daddy's love their girls, The second we overcompensate for the way they are treated in society and we try to lift them up all the while ignoring the needs of our girls. Now many may disagree with me with the resurgence of the Black is beautiful campaigns that are springing up everywhere but what about the nurturing that girls need, not just confidence. What about the development of their creativity and helping them be able to measure their self worth not with their looks or accomplishments but with their character.I am not saying that we should not love black men or black boys but we should not give them passes for their mistakes or behavior just because its hard out there.

Now before I go off on a tangent I want to talk about the inspiration for this article, a recent 16 and pregnant left a truly sower taste in my mouth. a young girl who had gotten pregnant had married the father of her child and was constantly disrespected by his family. The father had given up a football scholarship in order to be present in his child's life. Rather than informing the couple about family options at college his family attack the girl verbally by questioning the paternity of the child. Now everyone is entitled to a little resentment, but damn no one placed the blame on the blamee. He was the one who gave up his scholarship not her and they both didn't use protection.

What also stood out to me was that there were no men in the household besides the father of the baby and his younger brother, meaning that these women his mother and grandmother were single parents. These black women tore down another woman of color, even though they new what she was going through, encouraging him to leave and trying to give him an easy out through the paternity test request. They would have him be irresponsible and selfish, and see another woman struggle as they did.

In our community we have a lack of responsibility toward other black women. Because we are taught to pull ourselves up by our boot straps, even if we aren't given boots we must make a way. We will not allow for weak moments or tears or excuses.In the words of the city high song

" if my mother could do it, you can do it"

No I can't. And to you sir if my daddy could raise not only his three biological children but his step daughter and his nieces than so can you. I feel like sometimes we let our men complain about their struggles and ignore our own, or at least push them to the back burner. This is how we raise our children and its not fair. I have news for black men: It is just as hard for me as it is for you out here. I have to prove myself as a talented women, when people make up their minds about me when I walk through the door or read my name. We struggle together so you shouldn't be coddled anymore than me. You shouldn't be excused more than me and you need to learn from the past and not repeat mistakes of your fathers just as I have to not repeat mistakes of my mothers.

We are in this together. All I know is that I will love my children for who they are and try my damnedest not to show favoritism or more tenderness to one over the other. I will love them all with an open heart and with all my might.

somethin to chew on
PLBG

A heavy heart

This Po Lil Black girl is sad right now. After crying for an ungodly amount of time and waking up with puffy eyes I m the one at fault for my misery and no one else. I failed myself. I always knew that failure was lurking around the corner and I just invited it in. I am ashamed of myself and the work that i have done beacuse I am much better.I don't know exactly where ii let myself fall was it in taking too many classes or working or hanging out with my boyfriend, crazy deadlines or am I really just a lazy ragady bitch. I know its a combo of them all. I really feel bad and angry with myself for this but thats life.
I guess i'll be just another Cleveland girl going to Tri-C next semester, instead of graduating. This shit really hurts

Yall please pray for this PoLil black girl
Cause I need it,
love PLBG