For the first time in three years I have no clue about what my next step is. I am realizing that I have been given so much and now I must try to do things for myself. In that I have recognized my faults, failures, lack of interest and attitude which holds me back from success. My biggest things are my time management and my defensiveness. Now before you roll your eyes and think I have a case of CPT or Angry Black woman syndrome. ( I personally hate these stereotypes and even mentioning them because to become better we must realized that we as Black people are not all the same. We are beautifully different and Amazing and each of us have different experience that make us who we are) I am extremely slow at doing things. Whether its a case of procrastination, ADD or just Parlaying, I always seem to be doing things up until the last minute. I hate this about myself and that it not only affects me at school but in my internship. I intern with TR designs, That's Tracy Reese for yall who don't know. She is a Black Woman who has gotten me together one too many times. But I thank her and her staff for not letting me slide. If we do not show each other the way how can we progress in the future.
My attitude is something else that i am working on whether I'm too emotional, or rolling my eyes, When it comes down to it Its just not professional. I want to be the me I know is inside but digging through the ragadyness is hard. Admitting your problems is always the first step though,right?
Anyway this summer is really baffling me. I have five weeks before I must return to Cleveland and I am scared. I don't want to work in Beachwood Mall and see the same old people. No offense to anyone in Cleveland but I want to do something meaningful this summer. All my sisters should. It is our futures and we can't let attitudes, lack of organization, or self doubt hold us back from accomplishing our goals and fulfilling our purpose.
Please sisters,
Pray for this PO little Black girl
